A Deeper Dive on -- Self Care

Self-care is the latest buzzword you've probably heard a lot of people talking about. But what does it really mean? 

Here are some tips on how to practice self-care that I have picked up along my journey of healing and my ever-growing understanding of what it means to be human. 

More importantly— why does it matter? 


Self-care is more than a buzzword.

You probably already know what self-care is. You know it's important, and that you should be doing more of it.

But do you really??

If you're like most people, your life is busy and stressful. Days fly by with little time to think about yourself or your needs. Work can be draining; family obligations often seem endless; friends may be hard to come by when they need you most.

It's easy to let yourself fall through the cracks—but if we really cared about our own wellbeing as much as we claim to care about everyone else's, wouldn't we make sure that never happened?

Self-care isn't selfish: It's necessary for survival! 

Self-care doesn't just help those who are struggling with their mental health—it helps everyone—including those whose lives seem otherwise flawless from the outside looking in (because no one has perfect relationships all the time).

No one can take care of you better than you can take care of yourself, and it's ok to put yourself first sometimes.

Self Care is an important part of your life. 

It doesn't have to be hard, though! 

Self Care is not selfish, or a luxury that you should only do when you've earned it—it's something that everyone needs in order to survive and thrive in this world.

While self-care might sound like a buzzword, there are many different ways you can incorporate it into your routine: reading or writing for pleasure; spending time with friends; eating healthy meals; taking walks outside; listening to music that makes your soul sing; volunteering at a local charity organization; going on adventures in nature or other places where there aren't many people around (like the woods).

These are all examples of how we do things that make us feel good about ourselves because we deserve them just as much as anyone else does!

If someone tells me “I don’t know why I need self-care now because I worked really hard this week?” then they probably need more self-care than ever before because they obviously didn’t realize just how much work went into what they accomplished this week alone!

Self-care means taking time to rest.

I know, I know! You're thinking "resting isn't something that I can do." But the truth is that resting is an essential part of self-care. Taking time to rest helps you recharge and feel more energized, which can make all the difference when it comes to managing stress and feeling good about yourself.

It doesn't matter if it's going on vacation for a few days or spending an afternoon at home reading a book in your pajamas—the important thing here is that you're not stressing out about work or other obligations during this time; instead, they're put on hold while you focus on yourself. Your mind will thank itself later when it has more energy available for focusing better during the day!

Self-care means setting boundaries!

This is important for you to hear, but it's also important that you understand the importance and meaning of boundaries in a relationship.

This is important for you to hear, but it's also important that you understand the importance and meaning of boundaries in a relationship. 

What are boundaries? 

Boundaries are limits and parameters that define an individual's sense of self, as well as hers or his physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. They can be physical (like setting up a barrier around yourself), emotional (like being honest about your feelings), mental (like not engaging in negative thinking), spiritual (like listening to your intuition), time (like choosing to protect your time with yourself over your friends), or financial (like loan money to others when you don't want to).

Boundaries help us keep ourselves safe by creating clear lines between acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior toward us; they give us room to breathe on our own terms so that we aren't constantly defending ourselves against other people trying to take advantage of us.


A really great book that is helpful for learning boundaries: "Set Boundaries, Find Peace" by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Self-care is not selfish.

Many people think self-care is about being lazy, but it's not. It's about taking care of yourself and making sure that you're in a state to take care of other people.

In fact, self-care can be one of the most unselfish things you can do. It's important to take time out for yourself so that you have more energy and drive to give back to others who may need help or support from you.

Self-care means taking time for yourself.

It’s not selfish, it’s necessary.

You have to say no sometimes, and set boundaries.

You should ask for help when you can’t do it alone anymore.

And you should take time to rest and replenish your energy reserves every day—even if it's just 15 minutes of quiet reflection on your favorite couch (or sitting while staring out into space in the middle of a crowded subway car).

Self care means asking for help.

I know, I know. If you're anything like me, the idea of admitting that you can't do it all alone makes you want to curl up in a ball and cry into your pillow forever.

But hear me out: asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength! So often we don't ask for what we need because we think doing so will make us look weak or incapable (or both).

We fear that other people will see us as less competent if they know how much assistance we need—and on some level, this may be true—but at its core, this belief is flawed because it doesn't account for the fact that asking for help can actually lead to more success overall.

Self care means saying no.

You know how it goes: you’ve got a deadline to meet and a colleague asks for your help to finish a project.

It seems like the right thing to do: helping out your colleagues is noble, after all.

But then you spend hours of your own time finishing their work when they could just as easily have gotten it done themselves. And as much as we love being there for our friends and coworkers, sometimes saying no can actually be good for us.

Whether you need to take time off because of mental health issues or are just feeling overwhelmed by stressors at the office, setting boundaries is vital not only for our overall happiness but also for our health and well-being.

Saying no can mean setting a limit on how many emails or meetings we attend in a day—or simply looking forward instead of back at what has already been accomplished. It might mean having lunch with yourself rather than eating at your desk every day (and bringing leftovers).

In short: taking care of yourself does not mean letting other people down; it simply means making sure that everyone involved in any given situation gets what they need from the experience.

No one can take care of you better than you can take care of yourself, and it's ok to put yourself first sometimes.

I'm not saying that you should never help anyone else, but sometimes we need to give our all for others before we have anything left for ourselves. We're taught as kids that this is the right thing to do; from a young age, we're taught to put others before ourselves.

But in adulthood, it becomes more common—and more important—to learn how to take care of yourself first.

The best way to help those around us is by being our best selves first; if we aren't healthy and happy on the inside, then how will we ever be able to truly help anyone else?

We won't be able to provide sound advice if our own minds are clouded with anxiety and fear. We won't be able to comfort someone who needs support when they feel like they're falling apart if we haven’t taken time out every day over years (maybe even decades) building up mental strength within ourselves so that no matter what happens next or how bad things get in life there’s always a part deep inside which says “You got this!”

Conclusion

In the end, self-care is a word that gets thrown around a lot these days.

But even if it's just become a buzzword, that doesn't mean we can't use this as an opportunity to talk about what self-care actually means to each of us. At its core, self-care is about putting yourself first in order to be there for others when they need it most.

While this might sound like an oversimplification of the idea behind caring for yourself (and maybe even selfish), there's no denying that taking care of yourself makes it easier for everyone else around you too.

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